Monday, April 16, 2007
"Catch On" - Volume II Issue 9
emoshuns.com provides emotional healthcare services in Manhattan, Brooklyn,and Long Island, as well as by telephone and e-mail nationwide. See our web
site or call us for more information.
Hi Everyone!
I hope this edition of our EmoshuNewsletter finds you well!
Occasionally, counseling issues I address with my clients parallel issues I'm experiencing in my own life. When this happens I make every effort to
examine and address the situation so I can continue my personal growth and continue to provide the best for those in my care.
Some of the tools I use to examine (and hopefully "fix") these things include speaking with my own emotional healthcare counselor, discussing it with my healthy friends, kicking it around with Olga, and sharing it with you in the EmoshuNews Letter so you can offer your thoughts through the emoshuns.com contact page.
So here's the situation....
Several of my client's and I are struggling to "slow down". We find ourselves moving a thousand miles an hour in an effort to "catch up". We work long hours, fill our plates with things to do, "multi-task", and look to always add "more".
And when we're asked why we're moving so fast, we answer:
"I wasted so much time already"
"I only have so much time left to become successful"
"I want to be able to retire with x amount of money in my 401k"
And so on, and so on.......
And in this fear-based process we find ourselves having to sacrifice things we "would love to do", in order to accomplish things "we have to do". We find ourselves struggling with stress, depression, and anger, instead of experiencing the joys of life. We end up destroying our relationships with our loved ones and our friends instead of experiencing the ecstasy of love. We find ourselves bewildered, lost and alone, instead of sharing our lives with others.
And ultimately we find ourselves sad and miserable instead of happy, contented, and in peace.
So in this edition of the newsletter I offer what was offered to me by several of those in my inner circle:
From my friend Dr. Steve..."there is a law of diminishing returns Frank. If you try and accomplish too much, you'll end up accomplishing nothing".
From my friend Rob the Jeweler..."slow down and enjoy the ride. You're only here once"
And, what I think was the best advice of all, came from my girl Olga...
"Don't try to catch up, try and catch on"
And so if you find yourself in this situation, speak with your inner circle. Speak with your emotional healthcare counselor, kick it around with you loved ones, and think about the advice I got from my team.
And if you have been in this situation before but have found a way to address it, share it with us through the contact page.
Until next time....stay well and enjoy the ride!
Frank
E-Mail: info@emoshuns.com
Web Site: www.emoshuns.com
Toll-Free: 888-WANNA TALK
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Thursday, March 15, 2007
"Sharing" - Volume II Issue 8
Emoshuns.com provides services and resources to help families and individuals “Feel Better, Look Better, Take Back Your Life!”
Hello Everyone,
I was browsing on-line and came across a SAMHSA web page asking for personal stories of those who are recovering from emotional healthcare problems and realized how rewarding that could be.
Emotionally rewarding and hope-producing for those currently experiencing problems, and rewarding for those of us recovering from an emotional health problem who get to share our recovery with others.
After all…”you can only keep what you have by giving it away!”
So what I’m doing this issue is inviting you to share your story of recovery and hope and I’ll publish it in a future issue of the EmoshuNews letter (maybe even the next issue!).
Make it as long or as short as you want. I’ll either edit it to fit or I’ll run it as is. Other than that there are no guidelines.
It’s all about you!
So start writing!! And when you’re done, send it to me either through the convenient contact page or by email at Frank@emoshuns.com.
Til next time,
Frank
E-Mail: editor@emoshuns.com - Toll-Free: (800) 983-3050 - Web: www.emoshuns.com
Emoshuns.com - "Look Better, Feel Better, Take Back Your Life!"
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Monday, March 5, 2007
"Understand" - Volume II Issue 7
emoshuns.com provides emotional healthcare services in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Long Island, as well as by telephone and e-mail nationwide. See our web
site or call us for more information.
Hi Everyone!
I hope this edition of our EmoshuNewsletter finds you well!
At the worst point in my life I had written a "good bye" note. In it I explained that the reason I was "leaving" was because I felt no one truly understood me. I felt as though no one cared about me or even bothered to listen to what I was trying to say. I felt frustrated, abandoned, isolated, completely and utterly alone and left with no alternative but to end it all.
But somehow I didn't "leave" and thankfully ended up in an emotional healthcare setting instead. And while in treatment I was taught the single most important lesson in my life:
"Understand Rather Than Be Understood"
At first I struggled understanding this concept. I felt confused trying to figure out how I could possibly understand others if I didn't understand myself. I felt angry at the idea that it was somehow my responsibility to give others what they wouldn't give me. I felt scared at the thought of understanding that others truly didn't care. And I felt lost because I was sure I could never understand anything.
But I was told by my counselors that life was not perfection...it was practice.
So I began to practice at trying to understand and practiced not trying to be understood. And lo and behold my life began to be transformed! I learned to listen closely to what people were saying. I worked hard at listening because listening is hard. I worked hard at clarifying what people told me. I worked hard at understanding not only what people said but also what people meant. I worked hard at helping people communicate with me and offered them an ear and made it clear that I cared what they had to say and understood how they were feeling.
In this process magic happened. Not only was I able to develop an understanding of others, I was able to begin to develop a deeper understanding of myself. And this outsight into others and insight into myself have been the most rewarding gifts I have ever received.
And finally, I received another gift in this process no less valuable. People began to understand me! And they did so because they trusted me. They trusted me because I gave them what they needed. Understanding! And because I understood, they began to seek me out. They felt trust in me because I truly cared and in turn they listened carefully to what I had to say. And through this interaction we both received what we needed.
So in this issue of the EmoshuNewsletter I offer this advice to you:
"Understand Rather Than Be Understood"
Until next time....
Frank
E-Mail: info@emoshuns.com
Web Site: www.emoshuns.com
Toll-Free: 888-WANNA TALK
Emoshuns.com - "Look Better, Feel Better, Take Back Your Life!"
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To subscribe
Send a blank message to: news-subscribe@emoshuns.com
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Sunday, February 25, 2007
Men & Depression: Volume II Issue 6
Hi Everyone!
I hope this edition of our EmoshuNewsletter finds you well!
I read a front-page article titled Men and Depression: Facing Darkness in Newsweek’s February 26th edition and I became very excited. Some of the points Julie Scelfo makes in her story is almost exactly the points I’m trying to get across with emoshuns.com.
For instance, to paraphrase Ms. Scelfo:
“Six million American men will be diagnosed with depression this year but millions more suffer silently unaware or unwilling to seek treatment…because men are reluctant to own up to mental illness. Instead of talking about their feelings, men may mask them with alcohol and/or drug abuse, gambling, anger, or workaholism. Men often view asking for help as an admission of weakness”
The very idea that men have to suffer with emotional healthcare issues because of embarrassment or shame or stigma drives me crazy. It’s ridicules, unnecessary, and can be painful, debilitating, and costly and, as Ms. Scelfo points out, deadly:
“The result of this hidden epidemic of is destroyed marriages, disrupted careers, and a cost of billions in lost productivity. The strong silent type model of manhood is so deeply embedded in American men that many would rather kill themselves than seek help.”
Let me repeat that last sentence:
Men Would Rather Kill Themselves Than Seek Help!
My team and I would like to enlist your assistance in changing the way American men (and woman) feel about becoming and staying emotionally healthy. What we’re trying to do is create a paradigm shift in thinking and get people to understand that there is no shame in talking to a professional when you have an emotional health issue.
When my father was a kid no one would regularly see a physician. Today, because we understand the benefits of a regular check-up, we not only take care of our physical health we arm ourselves with knowledge so we can be informed when we visit our doctor.
When I was a kid no one, except “muscle heads” went to the gym. But today, everyone goes to the gym because we’ve discovered the benefits of regular cardio and weight training exercise.
Now, we have to get the word out that emotional healthcare is just as important and speaking to a professional will result in benefits in all areas of your life that are beyond your wildest dreams. Benefits that will impact your emotional health, physical health, relationships, career, education, and self-esteem, and benefits that will result in a happier life.
Always remember and spread the word…..
“Feel Better, Look Better, Take Back Your Life!”
Until next time….
Frank
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Grief and Loss: Newsletter Volume II Issue 5
I was deeply saddened this week when I received news that a close friend of mine lost his father in a tragic accident in
Throughout the afternoon people in attendance, both family and friends took turns saying a few words about this man in a showing of respect, and consideration for those present and those no longer here.
What affected me most deeply was my friend’s simple yet elegant message to those in attendance….
“Let the depth of your emotions, strengthen your resolve”
So in returning to my office I thought I’d examine this thought and reflect on the meaning it has for me.
Since I was very young I have always had a depth of emotion. As a child, and even today as an adult, I cried and cry easily, laughed and laugh from my belly, felt and feel anger to the point of rage, and loved and love wholeheartedly and with complete and reckless abandon. And because of this characteristic, my life has been affected in countless ways.
My angst has brought me to the point of despair, my humor has brought me great joy and, when not in check, great pain, my anger has brought me to places so terrible most people haven’t even had nightmares about, and my love has brought me ecstasy.
So today I felt great sadness. Sadness for a man whose life was cut short, sadness for the loved ones left behind, sadness for my friend for his loss, and sadness for myself in the remembrances of those close to me who have passed.
But in this depth of emotion I find my own resolve. Resolve to continue to live, resolve to continue to teach and to learn, resolve to continue to nurture those in need, and resolve to live to the fullest in the all too short time allotted.
All of us face grief and loss in our lives at one time or another. And it is during that time we have a choice. We can become bitter and angry, isolated and alone, and tearful and disappointed. Or we can be gracious and understanding, supportive and passionate, loving and giving, and, as my friend so eloquently stated…
“Let the depth of your emotions, strengthen your resolve”
Til next time,
E-Mail: editor@emoshuns.com - Toll-Free: (800) 983-3050 - Web: www.emoshuns.com
Emoshuns.com - "Look Better, Feel Better, Take Back Your Life!"
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Friday, January 26, 2007
Emotional Health and Heart Attacks: Volume II Issue 4
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Childhood Stress: Volume II Issue 3
Hello Everyone!
I read this recent article on-line today. It was published in the California based Bay City News .
To paraphrase: "A new survey suggests Bay Area parents are concerned about their children's emotional health above other potential worries such as weight, leisure activities or exposure to drugs or alcohol.
Interviews with almost 1,800 parents of children up to age 17 in six Bay Area counties showed that almost three-quarters of parents interviewed rated their children's physical health as excellent, and just over half of the parents said the same of their emotional health.
Childhood and adolescent stress was the major concern for parents.
I'm not surprised. I see it everyday in my office. Children and teens in the New York area are also struggling with the stresses of childhood and adolescence. Stress caused by schoolwork, personal and sexual identity, maturation, bullies, future career, everyday choices and decisions, separation and individuation, and so on and so on.
So what's a parent to do?
The answer is simple but the stigma is crippling.
The Answer - Seek counsel with of an emotional healthcare specialist with child and/or adolescent expertise who your son or daughter can speak with. With the right person in their corner, an expert who can develop a therapeutic relationship with your child, the stress can be lessened or alleviated.
The Stigma - Just because a loved one sees a counselor doesn't mean he or she is "sick". It simply means you care enough to make sure they receive all the benefits available to them.
People, including parents and children, often separate physical health from emotional health. But you can't separate the two. If you have a broken leg you're going to be miserable. And both your broken leg and your misery should be treated.
If your child or teen is stressed, help them. If it's because of too much homework, get a tutor, if it's because of a bully, call the police, if it's because of a career choice, help them explore their possibilities, but no matter what, get some help. There are experts out there who are available.
Find one today.
Until next time....
Frank
E-Mail: info@emoshuns.com Web Site: www.emoshuns.com
Toll-Free: 888-WANNA TALK
Emoshuns.com - "Look Better, Feel Better, Take Back Your Life!"
Tell your family and friends about EmoshuNews!To subscribeSend a blank message to: news-subscribe@emoshuns.comTo unsubscribeSend a blank e-mail address to: news-unsubscribe@emoshuns.com