"Understand" - Volume II Issue 7

EmoshuNewsletter - Monday, March 5, 2007
emoshuns.com provides emotional healthcare services in Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Long Island, as well as by telephone and e-mail nationwide. See our web
site or call us for more information.

Hi Everyone!

I hope this edition of our EmoshuNewsletter finds you well!

At the worst point in my life I had written a "good bye" note. In it I explained that the reason I was "leaving" was because I felt no one truly understood me. I felt as though no one cared about me or even bothered to listen to what I was trying to say. I felt frustrated, abandoned, isolated, completely and utterly alone and left with no alternative but to end it all.

But somehow I didn't "leave" and thankfully ended up in an emotional healthcare setting instead. And while in treatment I was taught the single most important lesson in my life:

"Understand Rather Than Be Understood"

At first I struggled understanding this concept. I felt confused trying to figure out how I could possibly understand others if I didn't understand myself. I felt angry at the idea that it was somehow my responsibility to give others what they wouldn't give me. I felt scared at the thought of understanding that others truly didn't care. And I felt lost because I was sure I could never understand anything.

But I was told by my counselors that life was not perfection...it was practice.

So I began to practice at trying to understand and practiced not trying to be understood. And lo and behold my life began to be transformed! I learned to listen closely to what people were saying. I worked hard at listening because listening is hard. I worked hard at clarifying what people told me. I worked hard at understanding not only what people said but also what people meant. I worked hard at helping people communicate with me and offered them an ear and made it clear that I cared what they had to say and understood how they were feeling.

In this process magic happened. Not only was I able to develop an understanding of others, I was able to begin to develop a deeper understanding of myself. And this outsight into others and insight into myself have been the most rewarding gifts I have ever received.

And finally, I received another gift in this process no less valuable. People began to understand me! And they did so because they trusted me. They trusted me because I gave them what they needed. Understanding! And because I understood, they began to seek me out. They felt trust in me because I truly cared and in turn they listened carefully to what I had to say. And through this interaction we both received what we needed.

So in this issue of the EmoshuNewsletter I offer this advice to you:

"Understand Rather Than Be Understood"

Until next time....
Frank


E-Mail: info@emoshuns.com
Web Site: www.emoshuns.com
Toll-Free: 888-WANNA TALK

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